Monday, June 15, 2020

Step 1

Step 1: Admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

The obsession that persists all throughout the day makes me completely unmanageable. I constantly react to my 3 year-old daughter with a short temper any time she wants or needs anything from me. Pretty much all I can think about, all day long, is the "qualifier" - the one who has most recently triggered my sex and love addiction.

This obsession is insidious. An SLAA meeting, an AA meeting, and a nap were my only reprieves. Other than those moments, there is a constant restlessness, irritability and discontentment from the withdrawal of not contacting or being contacted by him.

I feel the anger welled up inside every limb of my body. It's in my arms, hands and fingers. It's in my chest and throat and jaw. Gratefully I restrain myself physically with my daughter. But my anger comes out my mouth in reaction to whatever she says or does. I've apologized to my daughter at least twenty times today for snapping. I've made her cry over and over. This is no way to live, and I can't stand it. I'm going completely insane. 

All I can think about is the fact that he just went through surgery, and I'm not even allowed to show him I care about him or contact him. I've broken my bottom lines before today over the last few days because I had to. I've reset my sex-love sobriety date every single day. But I'll never put 24 hours of withdrawal together this way. I'll never recover, and this pattern or powerlessness and unmanageability will repeat itself until the end of time.

I want to break things. Throw things. Scream and yell and cry. I know what it is. It's this crippling selfishness and need. This bottomless void. 

I do believe that the only thing that can restore me to sanity is a Power greater than myself. This means I have to surrender everything. No matter how badly I want to contact him, I can't. This has to end, now. I can't deal with this for the rest of my life. I want to be free from this obsession. God, please remove my obsession. Please.






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You're very important to me; more than you will ever know. Through writing about my life, I'm trying to become a better mother. That is, in fact, my penultimate goal. If I succeed, I hope to inspire fellow sufferers of abuse and mental illness like me to survive and thrive (and if I don't succeed, I'm still useful as an example of what NOT to do). So, please, join me! Subscribe by email. Read about my fall from grace, my digging myself out of the trenches of demoralization, and my uphill trudge, battling the demons on the road to restoration, redemption, and happy destiny. We are not alone, you and I. And if you believe it - God's will is where your feet are. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me at adorafallbrook@gmail.com. Thank you, and so much love - Adora Fallbrook (nom de plume).