Dear God

Margaret was right. It’s not funny.

I finally just went back and actually read this blog. God help me.

In fact, God, I’m just going to talk to You now. Enough of this consciousness manifestation I-think-I-know-things thing. You are the Alpha and the Omega. I am nothing. You are Everything. I’m nothing.

I need You. I don’t know what to say, except, please, I need You to get rid of “me”. I’m a terrible human being. Most people don’t know this. I need You to help me stop using them. Help me stop deceiving them. Help me stop deceiving myself.

My only desire now on this beautiful Earth that You’ve created is to work for You. If I were to be given what I deserve, I know that it would be a slow, painful death because of my vast, vast Sin, followed by an eternity of torture. But You’re so merciful with your amazing Grace that You have allowed me yet to live. Please, remove EVERYTHING that is “me” without You. 

Help me think of You first in the morning when I rise. Help me every moment of the day to seek You first. Keep my eyes upon You. Keep my heart in You. Enter into me with every breath I take. Please take my will away. Thy will be done. 

I don’t deserve your forgiveness, yet I know it is mine. So I am Yours to use for Your Purpose. You Are My Salvation. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. I know the Truth. You are the Truth, the Life, the Way. I want nothing more than to abide in You.

Psalm 22 

19 But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me.

20 Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog.

21 Save me from the lion's mouth: for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.

22 I will declare thy name unto my brethren: in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee.

23 Ye that fear the Lord, praise him; all ye the seed of Jacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of Israel.

24 For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.

25 My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him.

26 The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the Lord that seek him: your heart shall live for ever.

27 All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Lord: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

28 For the kingdom is the Lord's: and he is the governor among the nations.

29 All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul.

30 A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation.

31 They shall come, and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born, that he hath done this.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Amen.