Life is redundant
What am I doing
Who cares
Words on a screen
Time passing by
None of it matters
But you have to do it anyway
Drag yourself along
Beg God for help
Empty
Alone
You think of some way to keep going
So you can survive the Now
Intolerable at best
Dread
Unsatisfying for the most part
Except for intermittent breaths
Of gratitude
But too far and few between
What does that even mean anyway
The road is long
I’m walking slow
Pulling a wagon with two kids in it
And looking ahead more than I look at them
Food, shelter, warmth, rest
Hopefully they get plenty of joy
Even if I’m sucked dry of it
Trying to keep them alive and happy
I should be so thankful
To give all of myself
By myself
A complete failure at relationships
They’ve all ended
I’m not enough
Except I pretend God loves me
Act as if
When really I’m not special at all
One among many
No different
Not unique
And no one cares
A life that doesn’t matter
We all move on
Everyone is just a memory
Unless they’re with you
You’ll have to tell me what that’s like
Although you’re likely ungrateful, too
You’re no different either
Not special
Not unique
No one has any real value
In the grand scheme of things.
