Tired

I’m tired 

of short-lived fantasies

excitement from a text

attention

“Maybe he’s the One?”

Yeah, no

see

I’m the One

God is the One

my hula hoop 

gets smaller

every day 

that I’m alive

removing Facebook friends 

declining that request 

from someone 

looking for a high

by way of, “Maybe I 

can fuck her?”

True

I used to fuck

to get them

men are 

so damn 

fucking easy

but I’m talking 

to myself 

like I’m my daughter

when It’s really 

God the Father

showing me

that I am Whole

without them liking me

though yes

there’s someone special now

or so I think (?)

but what he sees in me

I still don’t know

besides my pussy / laughter

Jesus

so those parts of me

feel validated

yes

I am 

a hot and funny

Christian girl

but not the only one

so maybe someone else

will fuck him

like I did 

before I realized

for like 

the millionth time 

my friend

that 

I

am

tired.